Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
