She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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