D3 body, D1 cock
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
