Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
