i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
