Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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