Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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