Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
do herpes really smell.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
