But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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