Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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