i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
