No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
