Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

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(210): View more from Texas

she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

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(302): View more from Delaware

I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game

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(540): View more from Virginia

he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride

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(912): View more from Georgia

He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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(708): View more from Illinois

there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again

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(541): View more from Oregon

Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Who says no to sex and donuts?!

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(317): View more from Indiana

They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year

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