Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
