Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
