Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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