No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
