I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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