is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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