Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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