my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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