I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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