Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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