Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
