last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
