3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
