just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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