JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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