Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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