Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
