I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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