Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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