I wish i was in the wii world.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
