everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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