How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
