He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
