I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
