i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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