Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
