It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
