thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
