Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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