did you get engaged???
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
