why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize