Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
