I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
