I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i barfeds in our rink
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
