I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
