Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This house was built for laser tag.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
