can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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